What else was there to do?
by JustlistentoYaya
Summary: A brief conversation between Rick and Michonne after the speculated events occurring in the season finale. Brief mention of a character death but it's very very vague. The title and story were inspired by two songs. Joss Stone's "I've Fallen In Love with You" & Matt Kearney's "Breathe In Breathe Out".
Okay, so this is a snippet of a much larger conversation between Rick and Michonne that I currently have in my head. It deals with speculated events possibly occurring in the season finale and it's sort of a re-write of what happens canon wise on the show. I might expand this at a future date and I might not. For right now I guess you can consider this a drabble. My first one in fact, ever, so please be kind. But also honest. I don't mind criticism just as long as it's constructive and not malicious in its intent. Thanks for reading and reviewing up front. I hope you enjoy it and it's not too bad.

* * *

It was dark out. Night had fallen long ago obliterating any remaining sun light lingering in the vast sky. The Grimes house was quiet. Both Carl and Judith sleeping peacefully in their beds despite everything that happened earlier in the day.

The only two people wake in the house were the ones still plagued with the haunting images of what that bat, _what Lucille_ , had done to one of their closets friends.

 _Rick_

Michonne found him sitting in the darkened living room staring quietly out the window, a sight that was all too familiar to her, recalling their first night in Alexandra.

His body radiated weariness. His shoulders were pulled down, his face etched in worry. His hands hanging loosely at his sides.

He looked so dejected. And worn-out.

Rick Grimes looked like he had been through hell. Looked like he was still going through it.

And she hated herself in this moment, for doing this now. She hated adding to his stress and his ever present guilt. But she needed to make something clear. She needed him to listen.

No matter how much it hurt.

Taking a deep breath, Michonne softly said;

"You shouldn't have come after me."

Rick, taken off guard and confused, turned around.

"What?" he replied

"You shouldn't have come after me. You shouldn't come after me, trying to rescue me every time I might be in danger, period. I don't want you to risk your life over me like that. Not when you have Carl and Judith to worry about. Not when you have Alexandra to run."

 _Not when it could have been you tonight, she didn't say._

"Your place is-

Rick cuts her off.

"You know-

sighing, Rick looked around the house, seemingly staring at nothing before returning his deep blue gaze at her.

"when he had us on the ground, kneeling like that? I kept trying to think of a plan."

"To think of a way to get us-me free, buy us some more time, to stop it all from happening. Stop Negan from..."

 _Just breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out._

"And throughout all of it, in the back of my mind, I just kept repeating "please, please not her. Anyone but her."

Rick smiled, though there was no trace of humor in his face.

"And it made me feel like the worst kind of hypocrite. Like such a selfish asshole. "

"But I kept thinking it, kept praying- begging to a god I don't even believe exists anymore, because I didn't-

Rick pauses.

 _(deep breathe in)_

"I didn't want to lose you ( _deep breathe out)_."

 _Better. That feels better._

"Not today. Not like that, not after finally, finally being able to touch you and kiss you. Hold you close. "

Rick gets up from his chair. His steps purposely walking to where she is. To be closer to her.

He wants to look at her. Stare into her deep brown eyes. Wants her to see, to really understand his next words.

"You said I shouldn't have come after you, but what else was I supposed to do? "

"Stand by that gate? Just waiting for you to come home, to be okay? Coming after you wasn't even an option, Michonne. It wasn't some conscious decision I made, it. just. was."

"Because I'd always come for you. Because-"

Reaching out, he gently touches her hand with a shyness and hesitates he hasn't had since before they kissed. Since before they became acquainted with each other's body's weeks ago.

It breaks her heart.

She did _this_.

"I need you, and I can't live my life with you. "

"And I don't want to. I don't know how to anymore. I couldn't just leave you to die. Not without you knowing..."

He thinks of Lori in that moment. Of all the things he couldn't, wouldn't say. Of all his regrets and mistakes he can longer take back because she's dead. He won't let it happen again. Not with her, not with Michonne, so he says it. Despite the fear in his eyes, in his heart, of everything being taken away from him again. Of her not saying the words back.

The pounding in his chest gets stronger. It becomes an almost deafening drumming in his ears.

 _Just breathe._

 _Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out._

"I love you Michonne. And it wasn't a choice. I will always come after you. "

"Always."


End file.
